Don't know where I belong.....

[Sotto]

Hi Twin, sorry to hear about your kitchen...and I agree, when it is done, you'll be so glad & really appreciate it. I would like to say that, as so many of us are - you are much blessed in many aspects of your life. I find it really does help me to practice gratitude and focus on the good things - and not to overwork the challenges....they will unfold and resolve in their own time and way too.

WRT to your H's family - it sounds as though you harbour some resentment there. That's yours to own I think - on the basis that - they will do what they will do. It's up to you how you choose to respond - and if that is with resentment - that's for you have a look at perhaps.

In terms of Thanksgiving - I'd be tempted to lighten up that message a little - something along the lines of - We'd love to host Thanksgiving as usual this year, but due to a leak in the kitchen, we're remodelling and it just won't be possible.

You could also say - Our family plan to dine out at X this year and you are more than welcome to join us. Tickets/meal cost will be $50 per head if you are interested and let us know by X if you'd like to come along.

I can't see that offending anyone and you're letting them know there would be a cost to them if they want to join you. If they don't - well you can have a nice, and quieter time with just immediate family.

I found Codependent No More useful for dealing with some of the areas you're posting about - where others expect things, you do them, you resent it etc...it may be worth considering perhaps?

Hope this helps anyway and I hope your lovely kitchen will be ready soon. Xx