New to the Boards. Marriage in Crisis.

[Zues126]

That's just not attractive to a woman.

I think this is key.

It took me a failed marriage to learn some of the differences between men and women. Who wrote the post "Men are dogs, women are cats"? I wish I could find that now. But the point is, that to MEN they might really enjoy a woman that is submissive, wants to please, etc. But a woman needs a strong man that is a leader, so when they start acting like a spoiled princess, he won't be lead around on a leash but will keep her grounded by keeping his balance.

I used to resent the idea that if I didn't act a certain way that somehow I wasn't worthy of love or respect. I don't see myself as a strong alpha male, and I thought it was tragic that I'd have to not reveal the depths of my affection to my other half because she'd use that to manipulate and control me and eventually lose respect for me. But I've learned that I AM strong in my own ways, and that I can still show that affection, but rather than showing it as desperate and needy, I could show it in ways that would make her feel safe, cherished, and lucky to have such a man in her life. It's like the 5 languages of love, you have to give them what they want, not what you want to give.