G, I think those of us who have had significant loss of a parent early in life, in whatever way it was, have a particular reaction when we lose someone we love. It brings about those feelings of abandonment and unworthiness we once felt.
What I have learned through all of this is that how they feel or dont feel about me, has nothing to do with my worth. And that if I loved someone so much that I feel sad for some time, that is ok. It is part of who I am and I like that about me. I also know, without a doubt, that what you felt about him was real. And while he may have seemingly moved on or ran away from his feelings, I promise you that he knows what he had. He was just too scared to deal with it.
You looking at all of that and working through it takes strength. It would be far easier for you to just be angry with him and not face what you need to face.
I understand your feeling lonely, G. While we are ok on our own, it is nice to share your life with someone. I truly believe that happens when it is supposed to happen. And right now, you are still grieving some and I think because you are, comparisons to your feelings come into play.
Praying for you about the condo. And so glad you and little G are enjoying each other so much.
