New to the 180. Help?

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I want him to *want* to spend thanksgiving with me, but he's not going to stay here this time. He is going to stay at his mom's house and take our son for the holiday.

She blamed everything on me today and said him getting in trouble was my fault because I said anything. Up until this point she's been in my corner, and now that her son is in trouble, shes turned on me.

I *WANT* to not dread this holiday and his visit and feel like we can be nice and just enjoy each others company but the whole family is becoming hostile and its freaking awful.