Thank you kml, Bright, Sotto and bttrfly, you speak words of wisdom and truth.
Originally Posted By: Sotto
Hi Lou, reading your posts above, I wonder if your H may have said all of that and then may not really want to go? He seems to be dragging his feet a little I think.
In the fantasy world it would be nice to think this. It would be lovely to think that he is understanding what him leaving means; the loss of his best friend, the one who was there for him when his life turned to custard, supported him, was patient and understanding while he took time to sort out his feelings and thoughts. I am the one he can have a laugh and jokes with, who gets him, who knows him. This is the person he is about to walk away from and never see or speak to again, never have in his life again ..... but reality is, this is depression and the most likely answer for why he is dragging his heels is that he genuinely has not thought about what he is going to do and where is going to live as it has not entered his head. His head is void of all feeling and thought. To me the reason he is not feeling for me what he thought he would. This has been two weeks for me, but from taking to him in the past I know that time feels different for him so for him its probably only been a couple of days.
He does make noises about leaving. The roof box is now on the car and he has discussed with s19 how to secure it better, so leaving his in his thoughts somewhere. I feel it could be Monday, but thats just guessing.
There may be an element of his sabatical being over for him, that leaving here and his extended holiday means going back to the real world of working, earning and building a new life (which he has no clue what he wants or who with). So its possible he is dragging his feet because he does not want to return just yet.
Originally Posted By: Sotto
Also, would you consider agency working for a short while? Sometimes, just getting a foot in the door is enough and firms don't want to lose someone the have seen, liked, tried and tested.
I have tried agencies before, I joined two. I only got a couple of last minute waitress jobs out of it. Unfortunately I am classed as unskilled on their books, if I have office experience or some other useful skill then I would be ok, but I don't. I don't have what they require here. This is the big downside of being trusting of a person who says they will look after you forever if you be a stay at home mum and housewife .....you end up at the bottom of the work class at 46.
Thank you for the idea though.
Originally Posted By: Sotto
I agree with KML on the loneliness too. For me, I find it works well to have plans every other night or so. I'm quite happy to have a quiet night in if I was out last night and I'm out tomorrow night - but I find a run of nights in start to get a little depressing. For that, flexible GAL can be helpful too - like gym visits and so on - where you can choose to go somewhere alone if you want to get out for a bit.
Right now I am transportless (I know, my doing), so getting out of where I am living is difficult and will be even more difficult once he has gone and I no longer have access to his car. I try to get out, I walked to the library yesterday just to get out of his space, today I am meeting a g/friend who is visiting in the area and on Monday I have been invited out for coffee. I also have my last assignment on the go. To be perfectly honest, GAL is the last thing I want to do right now, I just want to crawl under a rock and not allow the world into my space, my emotions and being have taken a huge hit with a second rejection, and this rejection is more profound as he really did suck me in with all his niceties and then spat me out. I'm over feeling a freak and a fugly, rejection from him twice, rejection from friends, rejection from work, its not great for the soul huh.
Oh goodness, listen to me, on a right downer! I'm fine, really I am. I have a bed to sleep in, two lovely boys with beautiful hearts and enough money in the bank to feed myself. Life could be so much worse.
