Hello all! I was lost when I was blindsided by all of this a few weeks ago until I stumbled on Michele's video, "Walk Away Wife Syndrome". My sanity and some clarity came back to me and I truly appreciate that. I have read the "DR" book but I have a question that I have not found a concrete answer on.

My story isn't uncommon as I read through these forums. In my eyes, up until 3-4 weeks ago, our relationship was ok, not perfect by any means, but definitely not on the brink of divorce. Then one day, she came home from work and told me, "This is not working, we need to D. I love you but I am not in love with you."

My heart dropped and was in shock. I think my first words were, "Are you serious? How did you decide overnight on this?" The day before, we were fine, we were even intimate the day before that and it was a genuine, emotional, "making love" not just sex. I was dumbfounded how this came to be in less than 48 hours.

She tells me it has been a build up over time, not just 1 thing in particular. I continue to question but she doesn't have any straight answers really. She goes upstairs and tells me that she needs her space and she is going to stay in the MBR with the door closed and if I need something, knock first or text her.

So I sat there, mind racing, trying to figure all this out. Was it an OM? EA? PA? I immediately researched phone calls/texts/social media...nothing out of the ordinary.

I then decided, well ok, time to figure this out and I will make it right. I then proceeded to do everything that you are not supposed to do according to the rules I now know. Persuing, pleading, begging, etc. And as we all know, didn't help or solve anything. Just made her more recluse and short tempered.

She stayed at a friend of the families house last weekend but came back on Wed due to her feeling super uncomfortable there. I agreed to stay in a separate bedroom to give her space. She had mentioned a week after the BD that I needed to go find somewhere to go. But here in lies the issue.

Last year I was laid off from my job due to the position being removed because the contract of my company not being renewed. We mutually decided that I would stay at home to take care of he kids to avoid daycare/finding people to watch them. She makes enough for us to get by but it was still tight. A few months ago she mentioned that she wanted me to start looking for a job. I said ok, but this is going to be a difficult transition. Not impossible but difficult. She said she felt like she was working too much and not able to spend time with the kids. So I looked for awhile and applied but nothing ever came through. Needless to say, I have no income and she wants me to move out! I have since applied, made it through the 1st interview and 2nd interview is on Monday. If I get this job, I will be able to deal with all of this a ton better.

She has been patient and understanding that I need a job before I can make progress. But now, she wants to have "the talk" with our 5D tomorrow. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage but they are with their mother atm.

I have made a lot of changes (for myself) already and I believe she has noticed them but I think she feels that the physical separation needs to occur in order for her to find herself. I too believe that it would help with her understanding the effects of my not being around as well. Like loneliness, missing me, etc.

My question is, as far as separation goes, what is the best way to break this to our 5D exactly? Are there any creative alternatives other than me moving out? Also, once I start working and get enough money to get an apartment, how should I approach my WAW with this? The last thing I want is to go and sign a lease, then a week later she decides to work on things. I may be thinking too far ahead but I like to be prepared with options.

I am an optimist and I do believe things can turn around but I know I can't sit and wait. I just don't want to do anything that would prevent us from me going back to the house.

Thank you for reading my post and I am excited to join this group. So much knowledge to absorb!