Struggling

[Chris73]

It is little things like that I notice that can crush me in an instance.

Unfortunately it doesn't get easier. I think the little things hurt the most because they're such a staple in your everyday life. When they change it makes you feel like nothing is real.

Would it be a good idea and help me detach if I moved to the couch?

I guess it might feel better to avoid conflict and escape. I've done it twice in the 5 months since the BD. But I've gotten the same advice as you on my thread. Stand your ground, stay in the MBR.

Tonight she is making it officially a PA, yes, she told me this.

This is the most gut-wrenching thing I've read on these forums yet. And I think the DB vets on this board refer to it as "cake eating".

When I first discovered my W's affair I was so desperate to keep her from leaving that I agreed to anything and everything. I pursued like crazy. I gave her ALL the power. Not only did this make things worse for me but it caused my wife to lose some respect for me.

So I can't stress enough, tell her that you don't want to hear anything about the OW. If she mentions her, ignore it or leave the room. And even though you're probably curious to know what's going on (in hopes of getting some evidence that her R with the OW is fleeting), don't ask her about it. This will be hard and you might backslide, but keep at it. Don't give in and don't give up. Consider it part of your GaL strategy.

I've decided to stay with a friend for a few days. While I do not expect my W to even care, let alone ask where I am, what should I say if she does ask?

Definitely take off and stay with a friend, especially if it serves as a distraction for you. I'm by no means an expert but it sounds like a perfectly legitimate GaL activity to me. I wish that had been an option for me.

If your W is not dependent upon you being home for any reason, then just go as soon as you can. Leave a note or a txt so she knows where you went and then either turn off your phone or temporarily block her number while you're gone. If she really needs you for a legitimate emergency, she'll leave a VM. It's not going to help you forget about her, but it might keep you an extra step away from doing something that could be seen as pursuit.

Good luck and try to enjoy the weekend if you can.

...and keep posting, we'll be here