WW Wife - Do I confront her?

[Painter]

Don't expect to be detached yet. You are attached to her because you've lived with her as your partner for years. She has been in a process to detach for a long time without you being aware (for whatever reason). It takes time.

Beware of the difference between connection and attachment. It can help to realize that the connection is not there at this time, but the attachment is and will be for a while.

What you can do, is try distracting yourself. That's another function of GAL - activities that takes your mind of your ex and the relationship.

Trying to *not* think about something is really hard. It's much easier to think about *something else*. That's why GAL works. Go see a movie, do a high-energy activity that requires you to pay attention to the moment (for instance, a yoga class is much better than a solitary jog), go out with friends to a noisy bar or a concert (if you can listen to music, I couldn't for about 6 months). Immerse yourself in a demanding project that you can come back to whenever you have the energy and time. If you have crying jags, allow yourself to have them for however long they last, but fill the rest of the time with things that distract you.

If you still live in the house, change things around. Buy something new for your home that you didn't have together. Get a new piece of art to hang on your wall.

These are some things that in work well in my experience.