The "consequences", if there are to be any for her, are to see the incredibly awesome life you're carving out for yourself, without her and without needing her to bring that about. It If anything will bring her back, it will be her own realization, on her own journey, that you are a man only a fool would leave, and she's that fool. Unfortunately, pursuit, clinging, attempts at control -- all of that just solidifies in a WS's mind that they "did what they had to do" and that it was the right move.
EVEN IF you execute things perfectly and emerge on the other side as the new, awesome version of you (and it's very difficult, with lots of ups and downs), she may never have that realization. Because it's her journey, her circus, her monkeys. BUT, you'll still be in an awesome place you wouldn't be in if you continue to be enmeshed/attached, co-dependent and all the rest.
So, stay the course, and guarantee (a) you'll be unhappy and not self-actualized, and (b) that she'll move further and further away; or change the course, have the possibility of R and the certainty of an improved, even happy and joyful life.
This is all easy to say from the outside, so know that I know how hard it is to pick yourself up from where you are right now, but you can do it, and you NEED to do it.
Jruss,
I understand everything that you are saying and you are right. I know that I do need to detach and become that person. I just have not done a very good job at that part yet.
I do not perusing or being clingy at all at this point. I am just trying to work on myself and become a better man.
So, are you of the opinion that I should not confront her and just keep moving forward and detaching?
M-42 W-40 S-12 D-10 Together-13 years Married-10 years Separated-6/2016 ILYBINILWY-7/2016 EA-4/2016 (best guess) PA-7/2016 (best guess)