WW Wife - Do I confront her?

[AndrewP]

This may not be helpful at all but is the way that I handled it. I'm not sure how "well" it worked out in the end as it was the start of a very difficult journey for me.

W and I had always had a (I believe) mature relationship with each other and even though she generally made most of the decisions and I did what she wanted most of the time we treated each other with respect and courtesy through most of our MR.

I found out about OM before I discovered this place or DB/DR. That evening I went down to the kitchen where my W was making my lunch for the next day.
A - We need to talk about [OM name]
W - What do you want to know
A - Is it serious?
W - It is for him I don't know for me.
A - Is it sexual
W - Yes
A - Is it going to continue?
W - Yes
W leaves and A starts weeping into his arms.

After that followed several months of an outer ring of h@ll as the mask that W had been wearing fell away revealing the alien underneath that had been there all along. The A started being carried on more openly to me although she kept it quiet to the outer world. Her former loving expressions changed to ones of contempt and disgust. It varied though. Some days the old W would emerge temporarily.

The rest is a really long story that if buried in my hundreds of posts. She's still not home and as far as I can tell, still seeing OM from time to time.

As the advertisements say "you milage may vary" - but that is one way that a "confrontation" can work out.