Thanks guys! And thank you for sharing that, painter! Maybe sometimes people just don't understand and they need to be redirected. Thus far he has respected what I said to him and he deserves another chance for that. I'm sort of in some weird social experiment with him right now. I'm going to see if it works redirecting certain behaviors and showing him how I would like to be treated.
I had a session with my IC tonight. It's been 2 weeks so I brought her up to speed on everything. I tell her everything including the emotions I am embarrassed of. She's the sweetest smartest woman. She feels I should be dating, casually dating multiple guys at once ( cause, ya know, they are knocking down my door) and then I will be able to see who I want to get serious with. Of course being open and honest with whom I'm dating. I told her how it kind of upset me that oat guys want to skip to the sexual stuff. She laughed and said " well, it's not all bad!!!" Even throug telling her everything, she said I'm doing so great and I really have my crap together. It's funny how differently I see it. She admires my actions, my gym commitment, my dating, my volunteering. Ect. Sh said I'm certainly not a woman who expects things to just happen for her and it's obvious I want to make myself feel good and be in charge of my own happiness. Funny I don't quite see myself that way. I mean, yes, I see myself as a strong proactive woman who doesn't lay down and die. Who makes every effort to learn from mistakes and still work towards what I desire. I know I'm the only one who can do that for me. But I see myself as so weak sometimes for still carrying someone in my heart who doesn't want me. But I guess that would only be my weakness if I let it stop from me from forging forward. But nope. I intend to move forward with an open heart and an open heart no matter what I am carrying deep down. I'll work through it and I'll get through it. There's got to be a reason for everything at the end of this.
Don, thank you. I have no doubt there is a woman put there for you. And it will more than you ever dreamed of. The lonely nights will be a thing of the past.
