WW Wife - Do I confront her?

[j20a00g]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate all of the input.

I have been doing the 180's for me, but my wife has noticed because they have randomly come up in conversations. I have not told her anything that she has not asked me about. Then when I tell her, she has a surprised look on her face, but says nothing.

She has not been spewing for a few months now. Mainly because we have no R talks at all. So for now, that has been a good thing. I know that if I confront her, that might all change and she might start to lay it on me all over again.

I don't think she would deny it if I confronted her. I think she really thinks that she is single and already D'ed in her mind. I honestly don't think she would even consider it an A. Just moving on with life as a single person. That is just my opinion, but I might be wrong.

I have been implementing most of the DB principles and I focus on doing them for me and my kids. But I will admit, I have not detached from her at all. I am also not pursuing, but she does not show any signs of being worried about losing me. Detaching will be the hardest part of this process for me.

The only reason that I would consider confronting her is to take back some of the power that she has. Maybe get some respect back by laying down my boundaries. Get tough with her and let her know where I stand now. No more begging or pleading. This is now my choice and I am walking away from her. Let her know that I will not be a part of her life in any form if she continues to choose OM over me and our family.

I think I will hold off on any confrontation for now, but I would really like for some additional input from you guys and any others.

Wow! So many contradictory things in here. I think you need to make today the first day of the rest of your life and start from scratch.

You do not have a wife. You know a woman you were once married to and are only connected to her because of kids. That's it. I'm so confused by you thinking you can set a boundary for her on being with another man as if she will care at all.

Wanna know why she hasn't been spewing? Cause she has a mouthful of c....ake.

You have zero right and zero "power" to question or demand or ask for anything. And even thinking that you do solidifies what you mentioned about not detaching at all.

How would it play out in your fantasy world?
You: "I know u are banging bill"
WW: no im not
You: yes you are! And if you don't stop immediately I'm gone!
WW: noooo mr bam! He's gone right this second! I can't imagine being without you! Let's forget everything and go rent a uhaul! I'm coming home and we are sending the kids to grandmas and you and I aren't leaving the bedroom for a week!"
You: darn right!


Here's how it would likely play out with most WW:
You: "I know u are banging bill"
WW: no im not
You: yes you are! And if you don't stop immediately I'm gone!
WW: noooo im not! And even if I was, it's none of your business since I told you months ago we were done. Don't you remember? But since you wanted to bring up our R, we should talk about filing. So as you are walking out the door since you are about to be "gone", when's a good day to go and file?
You: I'm serious!
WW: 'me too! Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Better yet, I hope it does so I have something else to laugh at along with you thinking you can still control me.


You get the point....
Detach!!!!!
Read DB
Read DR
Read up specifically on the LRT
Keep your mouth shut
vent on here
Quit fooling yourself that you are doing 180s productively. 180s without detaching are a waste.

*sets down 2x4 and gives you a bro hug*