I'm confused about how or why you think confronting her will "take back some of the power" or "get some respect back."

It won't do either of those things.

Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16