WW Wife - Do I confront her?

[Zues126]

Sorry you're here Bam.

I've been through this, and my XW never looked back. To this day she continues her spew, her blaming, her villainization of me. Her narrative on our history is so far from reality that I don't understand how she can still believe it. She bounced through 6 men before landing on one that she has been with for over a year now. She drank and smoked pot to oblivion for the first year and may be continuing. All in all, she is an addict. Addicted to anything that will make her feel better in the short term. Men, pot, alcohol, facebook validation, you name it.

I am marriage's number one fan. I would encourage you to stand by your M. I would encourage you to let some time pass and to work through your grieving process without burning bridges or meeting new women.

But detachment is key, so I would also encourage you to manage through this with no expectations, as there is a non-zero chance she never turns back.

Personally I wouldn't confront her. It will accomplish less than nothing. She will deny it. Then she will blame you. Then she will try to hurt you for revenge. Then she will blame you some more. Then she will replay all of those conversations for her new BF while she badmouths you to him in between sexual encounters. It's pretty sick, but that's what will happen. She's not going to apologize, realize what she's losing, or anything like that. Trust me. A Wayward Wife could shoot 5 children to death without remorse and find a way to make it your fault. It is pointless to talk to them.

My advice would be to make changes for YOU. GAL is important because it helps with detachment. When you meet your emotional needs on your own through friends, family, outings, etc, it will gradually make your WW seem like less the only answer to your soul, and more like a woman that you need to protect yourself from. 180s for YOU are important. Not to show her, not to land a new woman, but because you want to do better so you can sleep well at night knowing you're doing your best.

All in all, become the best you you can be, and move forward the best you can. It takes time. That's ok. Each day will be a step forward. You will get through this.