New to the Boards. Marriage in Crisis.

[Painter]

Very interesting.

There's many other things you can do to elicit a little adrenalin besides arguing (which is destructive). Anything from rollercoasters or hot air ballon rides to a sports event or climbing a rock wall at a gym can give a rush. On a more intimate level, role play can be really interesting (this would have to be negotiated as something you both would want to try). Think Phil and Claire Dunphy from Modern Family and their regular meetings as pretend strangers in a hotel bar.

You may need to get really good at setting boundaries and take the lead in the relationship. Most women want to respect their man. It might not be a popular idea, but I really think it's devastating to a R if the woman loses respect for her partner. It doesn't mean that you steamroll her, you have to be sensitive to her needs (and it sounds like you are very aware and insightful) but that you are also a rock that is there regardless what stormy emotional sea she is in. I know it's a lot to ask!