WW Wife - Do I confront her?

[Matrix]

Nutts - Thanks for the response. I have read hundreds of Sandi's posts. I know what she would probably tell me to do. I have also read so many posts about "doormat" tactics and being the best friend your W can have. This is why I am so confused. This is a critical step for me and could really change the course of this whole thing.

I feel like I can't make another mistake at this juncture. Maybe my W has been waiting for me to find out so that she say "that's it" and move ahead with the next steps. She has not really been using me or "cake eating". I do all of the nice things for her on my own. I read a post somewhere that talks about not confronting and just being as nice as you can be. It said that eventually the guilt might be so over the top, that it will be too much for the WW to deal with and maybe they would end the A on their own. All I know is that the A has to end if there is any chance in the world for reconciliation. There can't be 3 people in this fight.

I don't really know what to do. I know I will get different answers from people, but I wanted to reach out to the board before I did anything stupid.