So sorry you are here, but you'll find a lot of people in very similar situations, and we're all willing to help as best we can.
As for your question, to confront or not, you're going to get conflicting answers, and I'm not sure I can give you a suggestion I'd feel comfortable with. My sitch was different in that the OM was married, and I exposed it to his W, and that ended the A, however, my W, while probably not in a current active A, is probably looking for someone else.
Do you really think your W will end the A if you ask? IMO, she won't; the best case is she says she will stop, but continues further underground. If you haven't already, be sure and read Sandi's multiple posts about why a W turns Wayward, it has some insight into a WW's mind that will help.
Whatever you decide to do, I wish the best for you. Keep posting, and you'll always have someone to talk to about this.
M 40 W 40 S 2.5 Together 13 years Married 11 years BD: 09/23/16 PA, then long Distance EA confirmed 9/30/16 Exposed A to OM's W 10/7/16 A ended 10/10/16
