Cherry. He's gone, and divorce is looking

[Cherry]

Haha Sara, I'm so glad I'm motivating you there, I'm still keeping myself preened as possible, don't worry! And you are very right, it's like when they say not to make any life changing decisions when depressed.

So after a busy day yesterday, and a lot of sickness since the early hours. I went into work for a while, only to be so sick I got told to go home. While lay on the couch looking after s, wh appears in the house. Rather unexpectedly, it didn't really bother me, as S has been unwell (just a cold, but too young to understand the concept of resting and blowing his nose himself). As pleasant as I am to wh, I'm still trying to keep some distance. After all, that's what he wants, and also, I wasn't in the mood for a potential spew fest. S was having fun playing with his dad (he is still rather quiet and withdrawn, even when with s). So I asked was he okay to watch him for a while so I could get some rest/get a nice bath. He said that was fine. I offered a drink and so on, which he thanked me for and I left them to it. MIL offered to cook (the sight of food knocks me sick) and asked wh if he wanted to stop for dinner. He agreed. Of course he was super withdrawn, and silent. But I was upbeat. After eating he said his goodbyes and off he went.

All in all, not exactly a positive visit, he is still utterly silent (shall not mind read). But nor was it a spew fest. It's strange, when I do see him, he feels like a stranger and I think is this who I want to be with, and the answer is no. Not like that. I've got good at expecting nothing of him (except maybe negatives- e.g. Spew), and this kind of helps me to think nothing of his visits.

Did some real organising of what I need for baby still (I do like a good list). And did a little online shopping. So I'm quite happy with that achievement! It seems to be going so fast, I can't believe I haven't got so much longer in work left. I'm starting to delegate some workload and train others to do some of it whilst I'm off.