Originally Posted By: CaliGuy
Originally Posted By: SBJ
While I know what all of you guys say is true, it is effing difficult. I know it can be done, but that is truly a 180 for me. I was always the one that was eager to do what she wanted or needed.



Lets look at this a bit deeper:
Would you say your happiness depended on hers? Would you find yourself hoping she would do something for you but be some what let down/disappointed when this never happened?


CaliGuy...I don't think that my happiness depends on hers, I just like doing things for her. While I do think that a healthy relationship is two ppl giving of themselves unselfishly to each other, I know now that ours isn't like that. As stated earlier some are givers and some are takers. I do think that somewhere in the back of my mind I have been disappointed by her lack of giving in our relationship...not of materialistic things, but of herself. She is willing to give 100% of her time and energy to everyone who asks...just not to me.

A friend's H said he couldn't believe how much time my W spent volunteering. She told him that she can because SBJ picks up all of the slack for her and allows her to do it. Again...I do for my family because I can and I want to, but I realize now that she has abused that and taken me for granted. Maybe detaching will allow her to see that...or better yet, it will reinforce that to me I need to focus on me and my kids.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!