She moved out...now the work begins...II

[HaWho]

It is hard. Until you do detach a bit. Then you start to realize it's actually harder and more painful to hold onto this mess.

As for being friends, I am in the "it's not possible" camp. I think you can be friendly, just as you would be to your crazy next door neighbor. But even if there is no affair partner, I have not found it impossible to be true friends with a MLCer. Friendships are give and take. The MLCers regresses emotionally. For you to maintain a friendship with a teenage minded person, you'd have to regress yourself. An MLCer is too selfish to be a friend, that's why they dump anyone who disagrees, even slightly, with them!

I don't think you really need to tell her you can't be friends. This will probably lead into a r talk and that is bad all around as the focus needs to be on detaching. You could just show her in your actions.

And yep, they sure do become the polar opposite. My h used to be so house proud. No he lives in complete and utter squalor. He has not cleaned his bathroom since April. And before that, he had it cleaned at XMAS.