where to begin or end?

[AndrewP]

You know reading other people's situations makes me realize sometimes how easy I have it.

There's a phrase used around here that I think you need to repeat to yourself over and over and perhaps start using it in interactions with your W. "Not my circus, not my monkeys". She's getting you to do all the work, does whatever she wants, takes whatever she wants and is outraged when you object. She's acting like a 6 year-old who just was made Queen of FairyLand.

If she wants to file, she can and it's not up to you to do it. If she doesn't want a lawyer, that's in her circus. You can do whatever the heck you want and I would strongly recommend getting legal advice at least. If she objects, too bad. She lost the right to tell you what to do a long time ago. You may have been obliged to visit Fairy Princess Land but you don't have to live there.

The house and possessions are tricky. I don't know about where you live here but here the marital home has special status. You "can" get a temporary restraining order preventing her from taking stuff - not sure what's involved in doing that but I've read on other threads of people doing that. At the very least, anything she removes should be identified and valued because that comes out of her slice of the pie.

sandi2 who I adore often writes to us LBH that we need to get our b@lls back out of our W's purse. I know it took me a long time to find mine. Do you know where your's are?

PS - Sorry if this sounded harsh but you sound like you are moving in full panic mode right now.