Struggling

[fightin]

Well I've definitely pinned down my "more of the same" and that is being an emotional roller coaster.

Obviously I'm one right now because of the turmoil I'm experiencing, however my wife has informed me that when I'm off my antidepressants that is how I always am. I'm just up and down all the time and she doesn't know whether she's getting happy me or empty, flat, dark me. She says this is how our marriage has been for some time and even though she knows her A is a huge part of my emotional distress she can't take it anymore and she isn't going to give up something that makes her feel good so she can live with Jekyll and Hyde. I don't blame her for that part at all, but I've made clear that she's 100% responsible for her A.

Good news is I should get on some meds tomorrow and hopefully start to even out. Plus, I'm working very hard (and sometimes failing) at not letting my emotions control my actions in her presence. Right now that is my biggest down fall in DBing.