Roads Go Ever On

[Painter]

Just a little update.

I will move to the Surviving the Divorce forum, although I am not legally divorced at this time. It feels very much like I am emotionally.

The earliest either of us could file, was in mid-October. STBXH has not filed. I am pretty sure he is using me as protection against having to marry OW, as she wants him to and he doesn't want to at this point.

I'm not filing partly out of principle, partly out of convenience (it is a significant financial benefit for me to stay M). Also, I need time to recover. I just can't take on the stress of a D process right now. I'm very, very happy with my life as it is and I don't want to get dragged back into that world until I have to.

Due to potential legal ramifications, I can't say a whole lot about what's going on in my life outside my usual activites, except that it has taken a very unexpected but happy direction. I am in a much better place than I was during most of my M, with a level of equal and respectful interaction, exploration and understanding, connection, challenge, and healing that I didn't think was possible. I didn't plan for it, but I'm not going to turn down a connection that seems rare and precious.

I hope this can be an encouraging post for those who are losing hope about their M. There is life after the death of the M, and it can be much better. You can take what you learned about yourself and relationships and put it to use to create a better future.

See you at the bottom of the list...