SBJ job has dropped some serious wisdom on your doorstep .. read that one twice.
Reading along with your sitch I am going to just throw out the vibe I am picking up here. People are really trying to get you to detach .... there is a good reason for this. Your W is in crisis and in a way you are all to eager to eat up any crumbs she might give you, this is a round about way is you pursuing her ... like job mentioned in the above post, you have to flip the table and she must come to you. This is where the mirror work comes in because let me tell you, you have to become a pillar of strength and the light for her to look towards in this. IF ... and its a big IF, you can be her friend without expectations then do so .... for us guys its really close to impossible as we use the 'friend' thing as a covert contract to get in and create something more. Watch yourself here. I told my MLCr I could not be her friend because a friend would be happy for her and OM, clearly I did not put up a tent in that camp. Can you?
If what you say is true, that you both were the best of friends during the marriage, then that's something that comes with you being her husband ... she fired you from that job. She can not miss you if you are not gone, she can not think about what she has lost when you are still filling that need. I learned this early on .... IF there is an OM, let him try to take that job over .. ALL of it, fill ALL the needs and not just the sexual side. Typically the OP's do not want ALL the responsibilities just the fun stuff.
Listen to job, find a project around the house ... heck go into that one room where she insisted on that ridiculous purple color and repaint it in a color YOU wanted. I have seen a few here turn the M house into a canvas that helped them heal ... its a constructive GAL activity that has a sense of accomplishment that would do you good.
