When in crisis, they are their own mirror image, i.e., the opposite of the pre-crisis individuals. So, she liked nice things pre-crisis...now she'll live in a cracker box because this is how she feels about herself right now. I'm not surprised to read how she left a nice home and has gone to something that could be considered a step down in living arrangements. She's quite content w/her current living arrangements and it's all about no responsibility and your presence isn't there. It's her safe place for now. However, all of that may change as she begins to grow up...time will tell.
"j" is right...you have to detach and allow her to come to you. Follow her lead and if you can be a friend to her w/no expectations...then that will be great. While she is out there finding herself, your life's journey has started and you have time to do those things you've never dared to do before and to finish up projects that you started and never finished. Continue to work on yourself, be her lighthouse in the storm and be the safe haven where she knows that she can come if she needs to.
I know it's difficult, but try not to focus so much on her. Stay positive and always take time to do something fun and nice for yourself. Be the man any woman would be a fool to leave.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
