Vanilla said: "Do not agree to any negative statement she makes. None."
This is extremely dangerous. She can use this in court to take custody away from you. You can say all you want that it was sarcasm, but it can be used against you.
Ignore, ignore, ignore.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
I think yours second conversation was much better, you kept it on task. When she spews, validate but don't agree.
M 10yrs T 13yrs BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce April '17-Letting go 2018 D busted DD8, DS6, DS3
It seems like these arguments are over nothing. I mean, is having copies really that big of a deal for you to have? Heck, if it's that important for you to have originals just get another from the state. In FL it's about $8 and you fill out a form and take it to the health department and they print it right there. Just seems like mountains are made from mole hills just to be right or to get your way. Not worth it sometimes.
This 2nd exchange was way better but, still could have been reduced significantly. She says stuff to get a rise out of you and you take the bait. Mix it up on her and don't play the game.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
It seems like these arguments are over nothing. I mean, is having copies really that big of a deal for you to have? Heck, if it's that important for you to have originals just get another from the state. In FL it's about $8 and you fill out a form and take it to the health department and they print it right there. Just seems like mountains are made from mole hills just to be right or to get your way. Not worth it sometimes.
This 2nd exchange was way better but, still could have been reduced significantly. She says stuff to get a rise out of you and you take the bait. Mix it up on her and don't play the game.
Well said j20! Well said.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Why does it hurt when I do something nice for her.
She just sent a text asking if I get a discount on a certain model vehicle. She said she needs to get one asap.
I replied that I sent her the discount code 3 months ago.
She said I did not explain why? She then thanked me.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
I also had parent teacher conferences yesterday for the boys. I have some documentation that shows their progress.
xW has never brought up any conversation about the boys progress in school. Do I email her the documents or let it go?
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Why does it hurt when I do something nice for her.
She just sent a text asking if I get a discount on a certain model vehicle. She said she needs to get one asap.
I replied that I sent her the discount code 3 months ago.
She said I did not explain why? She then thanked me.
So that's why you are so nit picky with her. Because you say it hurts to do something nice for her.
So you feel like if you give her a harder time it will make you feel better? I don't think it really does. it will certainly make your life more difficult. I don't think you really want that.
It hurts you to do something "nice" because you want it reciprocated and appreciated, but in a way that isn't possible.
So you can refrain your doing something nice for HER to doing something nice for your KIDS.
And if something you don't want to do that won't impact the kids at all, then it's your choice not to do it.
But the push back on simple tasks is hurting you more than it's hurting her.
You are still extremely emotionally attached. This will become clearer as you detach. But try taking your feelings out of your decisions and actions and see what happens.
just so you know, giving a discount that you can easily give with no cost to you on a car that your children will be passengers in will become a simple gesture that won't effect your emotions one day
Was the comment "I emailed it to you 3 months ago" really necessary? Again, simple conversation that you were looking to turn into a full blown argument.
Ofcourse you send the report on the kids over.
Dude cmon. Step back and pretend it wasn't you saying this stuff....would you read someone else doing it and think it was right? Better yet, switch places with her...would you find these types of intentional jabs as beneficial for anyone?
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
