Now my wife is pissed that i didnt inform her of my weekend plans with the kids on my weekend. Saying i should have informed her. I wont have to in divorce since thats what she wants. How to validate? And diffuse?
OK, now I'm curious--what did you do with them?
Unless it was something super dangerous (like letting them ride an ATV), I would just say something like "Yeah, it's weird not to know the details when they're with the other parent. "
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
If you didn't do anything wrong, then I don't see any reason to validate or diffuse.
If it were me, and I'm not saying this to be provocative, I would've told my wife that if she hadn't had her head so far up the OM's @ss then it would've been a family outing and it wouldn't be an issue.
However, that's probably not DB, and I'm divorced now, so what I'd do might not be the best thing for you. But, it does make my blood boil when I read posts like yours. She's the one that's screwing around, yet she has the audacity to be PO'd at you for not telling her about the weekend plans? I'm having a hard time restraining myself.
Exactly my thoughts, no we visited my family. Stayed within state lines, and she has not told one thing about when she has them. I had to ask, just for her to bring them over for halloween cuz it landed on her day. She doesnt even relay my goodnights to the kids. But its ok for her to bring OM over to where she is when kids are there. My blood boils too, but i need to capitalize on this opportunity, making the point this is what divorce will be like.
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
So yesterday when i got home i found that my wife helped herself to the good laptop, and left the one SHE bought last spring. When i asked for it back, she says, i copied ur files to the flashdrive. Only a few were copied, so i took hers to where shes staying, and told her mom to bring me the other one back when i see her tomorow. When MIL tried talking to her about it she threw out, "i didnt think he was using it since he disconnected the internet" and "ill just copy him any files he asks for". All from someone who wanted to file 3 months ago and has only gone as far as printing the counties DIY divorce guide twice and leaving it for me to finish up!
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
Omg this is hard. Wife n i have been back nforth all day over the laptop issue, and property within the house generally. Shes never spoken this way in 14 years. Im holding to the thinking that all this hate toward me is because shes upset with herself and her actions. But that doesnt make the venom less painful though.
BH:30 WW:30 T:12 M:5 D7 S4 BD 7-28-16 S 8-28-16 3-15-17 wife filed 3-17-17 OM joint files with his wife
I feel like asking why she intentionally tries to hurt me
Don't bother. You won't like the answer and it most likely won't be the truth anyway.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Omg this is hard. Wife n i have been back nforth all day over the laptop issue, and property within the house generally. Shes never spoken this way in 14 years. Im holding to the thinking that all this hate toward me is because shes upset with herself and her actions. But that doesnt make the venom less painful though.
You are allowing it to go back and forth. Glutton for punishment?
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
You really REALLY may want to work on detaching. It would prevent a lot of this drama
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
I had my faults. We slipped into a slump, a while back with kids n daycare, our dynamic changed but we didnt address our new needs. I took her for granted and flirted with others as a source of validation when i felt unloved by her. I wasnt the family/housekeeper man, i was the good career bread winner. I know ive got work to do, i have to make sure my changes are ones that i can keep permanent.
On the other side, OM likes his freedom, didnt want kids with his wife of 10yrs, drinks and is occasional drug user with a part time job and now mostly stays with his parents since his wife kicked him out.
Don't try to compare or compete with the OM. Don't worry about what he does or doesn't do or what she does or isn't doing (besides that which directly could hurt the kids). You need to focus on you first. That's it. Doesn't matter if he's doing lines of coke off of her it's not your business. Detach.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
