Because it is what she had been saying she "needed" all along since walking out and disappearing. She said divorce was healthy for her and she was tired of being "oppressed". I did it mainly to protect myself and set the tempo because it takes months. I know it will turn around, but right now I'm ready to let it go and have been armoring up for battle.
Quote:
Just because she's been angry and demanding you sell all your stuff?
Part of her ultimatum was for us to settle out of court or she would "take me to the cleaners" in court. This was a complete 180 from the woman who was planing for the holidays, was looking for a better paying job (much higher than my salary) so we could start planing for a family, and was looking for our next vacation spot.
Quote:
Have you found any evidence of an A?
I doubt she ever physically cheated on me but if it were true I would suspect it more likely with be with a woman.
I never really cared who she spent her time with (to me that was her business) but I grew tired of her always blowing off responsibilities and promises she made to me and missing important dates for us because she was stringing herself out to be "super-friend", "super-employee", and "mrs.socialite". In the beginning I let it all pass, but towards the end I really began expressing how it made me feel and asking for the behavior to stop, that is when her resentment started building.
Recently several friends and my family remembers have been reaching out to me to not only support me, but also to apologize. Initially I was like "apologize for what, I should be apologizing to them for using up their time." But then is when I started finding out that she has been "poisoning the well" against me for several months. While I kept any marital issues to myself (never sharing them outside of her or clergy/counseling), I now believe that whenever she could not get her way she would run off and malign me by seeking a sympathetic ear from friends, coworkers, and family. That explains the "cold shoulder" and lashing out I started receiving from her friends and family within the past few months.
Despite all this venting and apparent negativity, I'm thankful all of this happened when it did. I have learned a lot from it, really started reconnecting with old friends and family that I lost touch with, and I believe that things are going to make a turn for the best right around the corner.
She will come back, but now I need to know if I'm in a position to accept and trust her. Regardless, I do not want to mistreat her (even inadvertently) in the manner she has done to me. I rather let go than continually punish her, even if she admits to the most sinister deeds possible.
