The cliff at the top of the mountain.

[DonH]

My comments sort of feel like the outlier. I'm glad you took them as intended as I think you already know I think you're an awesome person. I'd never want to make you feel bad or worse - just hopefully help.

It's likely my addiction background and understanding at play here but when I hear someone flipping a switch that's what often comes to mind. Did he get sexual after 4 or 5 PM - like after work? Was alcohol posibly involved or something else? I'd certainly have to consider that based on how things changed so fast again.

Did you do anything to shut it down? I'm huge on "you treat people how to treat you." I think I made that comment regarding your daughter last week. It very much applies here. I would so encourage you that when a text like "so, what's your favorite position" comes in, while Doodler might answer "third base or short stop" I'd suggest you should have replied something like "wow, we are just getting to know each other, what kind of a woman do you think I am?" That would put him back on his heels and show a boundary. A decent guy will respect it and not push it again. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you giving that response. There is certainly no down side.

I think you are a great person and without being cocky think the same of myself. Still I think it's healthy for both of us to investigate how our actions contribute to what we get. There has to be something I'm doing or about me that has kept me single for ten years. There may be something about you that either picks guys like this or gives them the green light. I don't think it's a body that screams sex even if that is the case. It could certainly be a sense the guy is getting that it's okay to do or say these things. You've even said your humor and banter is much like the guys. They may be seeing this as an okay to go there. If you clearly tell them it's not okay you'll know it's not you and is them.

Like I said, I know for a fact that not every guy only wants sex. I'm positive of it because I'm one of them and know others. Being in the music industry I also know guys and women just like you are encountering. I don't discount they exist as they certainly do. It's just not all of them.

Again, I hope I'm helping. If not, please tell me as the last thing I want to do is make it worse or make you feel bad and not even have any gain from it.

If you've pegged this guy correctly, that great. You did it in one date and about a week. Sadly that's just often how it goes. It's part of the dating deal. Had this gone on three months or had you been fooled or foolishly trusting that long, I'd be worried but you figured it out right away. You really do have to kiss a bunch of frogs. At least you got a nice kiss. I don't even get that half the time. Just chalk it up to the dating process. You don't have to like it but you're not going to change it. Yes it's disappointing but consider the alternative of what I did last Thursday (hint, there was no kissing involved).