Eating Life with a Big Spoon

[HaWho]

Well, this is a weird one, more texting from h and I'd love some advice.

First, thanks Esame, Ginger and 2T.

Ginger - the issue is he is totally PA. He just infers I am a nuisance but never actually says it directly. Instead he says "you are wasting my time" over these silly things that take 2 seconds to resolve. He knows he can leave. But, I am not going to tell him that when he voices mere cranky annoyances.

2T - that is what I sense. He is miserable and I am not. And he is trying so hard to pick a fight.

Speaking of which, I woke up to more crazy texting. Not sure how to respond. He is definitely stuck in the past. This weekend he told us he kept dreaming he was back in his childhood apartment only we were there with him. It's so weird he can't see it's a nightmare he HAS actually created and now he lives it.

Anyway, we are going back east for XMAS and we've been invited to his best friend's house to have dinner with his family. H sends a bizarre text saying the following: "x night we are invited to my friend's house and I'd like you to join us if you can act well. No crying, pouting, criticizing me, no problems. If friendly and discreet behavior isn't possible, I will take the boys and give you private time. As for family visits, I am happy to join you and our boys. But, not if I am made to feel unwelcome/uncomfortable. I know I can behave well in all scenarios. And I can entertain myself if friendly behavior is not exhibited by you. So I am flexible. Your call. Let me know soon so I can plan accordingly. Thanks."

How weird. He thinks I am going to cry and cause problems?!? I hate to mind read but I know when he was little, at a holiday, his mother got into a huge, very emotional, Jerry Springer-like fight with someone and they ended up leaving in the middle of dinner! I can't help but wonder if this isn't another case of him projecting his mother onto me. I know he always felt uncomfortable going to his extended family's house, too. He has always been welcome at my family's.

My gut tells me he is in the past on this one and maybe this is the little boy. It's uncanny how similar this is to that holiday with his mom.

Thoughts?