New to the Boards. Marriage in Crisis.

[Chris73]

Thanks Guys.

I appreciate the perspective with option 2. I guess not leaving the MBR is the same as not moving out. Stand my ground. She wants this, I don't. Why should I give her what she wants, right?

As for my W's PA/EA, she swears she ended it in May when I found out and despite being paranoid as hell, I really have no reason to think she's lying. The funny thing is that I'm not really even focused on the affair anymore. It used to tear me up on a daily basis, thinking about the two of them together. But I'm surprised at how fast those images faded for me.

Her feelings for the OM run deep. He was an old boyfriend from before we met. So I think there may be some lingering withdraw happening. But lately I feel like the discussion around "we should have never gotten married" is stemming from a much deeper depression and MLC that my wife is dealing with. As I mentioned before, she brought a lot of baggage into our relationship and now I have a tendency to believe that the resentment she's built up over the last 30+ years is all getting funneled to me because it really has nowhere else to go. Her mom is the main source of her depression, and she died 3 years ago.

Anyway, I'm getting a bit deep. But it really helps to journal all of this out on this board instead of dealing with it in my head or even worse, talking to her about it. I'm grateful to you all for giving me a voice in the forum.