I passed out early last night and I woke up to such great responses and I want to thank you all. You all hit on some interesting points.
WII- THANK YOU. I feel the same way about you. Except you are not a lady:)
Don- I honestly did not mention my red flags here, so maybe that's why it's not making sense. Before we met, he was beginning to be a little inappropriate. He wasn't on our date though. Then the next day started off nicely, then it turned all sexual, like a switch. Like asking my how big my sex drive is, what time of day I like, what my favorite position was..... NOT APPRORIATE AFTER THE FIRST DATE! Heck, I am all for those conversations when I am dating you, and am comfortable with you and we know eachother better. So, yes, it was like a switch, one that I wanted to turn off. I got so upset by this because this is a theme with almost all my male encounters. he also makes so many sexist insinuations which I can't tell if they are joking or not yet, but I almost think he wants a woman taking care of all his other needs.
That being said, I am trying to find the right balance by not jumping to conclusions, remaining open-minded, but paying attention to my gut. it is really a hard balance. Maybe I'm not good at it.
UR- you get me like no one else. I'm trying to not to look and just let life happen. I am good alone. But I just miss things that a human misses. I am an old soul. This guy even says it. I do have old-fashioned values. I want to hold true to them the best I can. I want to keep the door so I can leave the bad ones out and let the good ones in. I don't have it quite figured out, but hopefully I will know it if it ever smacks me in the face.
Zues- We do actually think kind of similar in this circumstance. I am having such a hard time putting myself out there to have the same thing happen over and over again. I have to decide how important the risk is, and if I could handle it right now. To speak to what you said, your desires are your desires and should be shared with an understanding partner. When the timing is right. Yup, putting it all out there up front maybe isn't a good idea. But as someone grows to love you, that person will grow to meet your desires as well as hers. See, I am no prude. I am so open that way when I trust someone. But before the trust, I am not. It's not me judging the guy, or not meeting up to his sex drive.
V- it was so incredibly nice to meet you. You are just as vibrant, and certainly not Vanilla! HAHA! Thank you for the kind words. I am just trying to embrace life as best as I can.
I admit, I was cranky and tired yesterday, but I did really feel kind of sick to my stomach thinking this is happening yet again. I may be very well looking for an endangered species, but it certainly isn't a unicorn. I am so lucky to have guy friends who are the ones that help me keep hope that my values are real.
Doodler, I always appreciate your jokes and the laugh. You are always welcome to my island.
OHHHHH I should add something good. I got an email from D9's teacher today reaching out just to tell me how well she is doing and how well she is adjusting and how she is always willing to help a friend out. I am so freakin' proud.
