New to the Boards. Marriage in Crisis.

[Chris73]

Last night was good. My wife worked late so by the time she came home, the kids were in bed and all the "end of day" chores were done. She came downstairs and sat with me for a while. We had a nice light conversation. It didn't feel forced.

Going to bed is the toughest part of the day for me. We still share the MBR but when we lay down next to each other there's a bit of tension. I want to get close to her but I know that she's not there. Typically we just kiss goodnight.

One of the things I've been doing in the morning for the past week is to ask her (or send her a text if she's still asleep) that simply says, "How can I make your day better?" So far she hasn't asked me to do anything, but I think she's starting to get more appreciative of my asking.

This morning I created a Facebook event called "The Season Finale of America" to take place at 9pm at our house with the simple message of "Join me on the couch downstairs while we sip Martinis and watch the end of America." She accepted the invite. I think the election coverage will be just enough of a distraction to keep things light but not as involved as a show where we don't talk at all. We'll see how it goes.

Question for the group...

When the subject of separation came up last week I spent a lot of time thinking about how that would actually work. I did some research and realized that I don't HAVE to leave my home if I don't want to. This realization empowered me a bit. If it actually comes down to my wife asking me to leave, I'll say no and give her the options of 1) we both keep working on a R, 2) we separate but I stay in the house, moving to a different room for sleeping if I have to, or 3) she moves out.

Clearly option 3 would be devistating for our kids, but it would be her choice, not mine. I really don't WANT to think about this but I have to be prepared for how to react if it gets to that point, right?

Have any other Hs out there gone through this? What did you do?