The cliff at the top of the mountain.

[DonH]

Oh vey, I dont want to criticize other posters but "you're looking too much at biceps" and "get a turtle?" At least I think I can follow that. .

I think I remember, you saying you express yourself much better in person than you do writing on a message board. Perhaps that's what's going on here, but I'm confused at what's really going on based on what you've posted. On Friday after the date you said you were impressed he texted to make sure you got home. He was a perfect gentlemen and wants a relationship. You said the two of you were trading texts all day and there would be another date. You said nothing about him being all about sex. Now you say you aren't only done with this guy but all guys. How can this be? These things just don't add up. Were you already concerned on Friday and was he already getting sexual? If so, we're you trying to ignore it or give him a chance? If not, why didn't you say something on Friday?

It's really hard to do this online through posts but it's all we have. I just can't help but think you are really white knuckling all of this. Four hour conversations, six hour dates, then boom, you're out. Sounds very all or nothing, very forced. Do you find it hard to just let things happen and go with the flow? See, I know that I sometimes do. I'm still so raw that any little thing can effect me. If I don't hear back, or she says something and I'm off on a direction. "She didn't message back - she's not interested." I'll get nearly depressed over it. Then a few days later I'd get "I'm so sorry, I just first saw your message now" and I'd be fine. It was all in my head. I can't help but think you are doing the same. "He's made some sexual comments, that's all he wants". How did you go from it's all good to done?

You've gone from great first date to not wanting to do any more of this - without another date inbetween! Does that make sense to you? Again I don't know, but I have to sense you are trying way, way, way too hard here. What is scaring you so much? Why have you lost your balance?

Can you tell us what made you change your mind? Were you concerned all along or did he really change? Are you looking for anything to be out? In other words dump him before he dumps you? What are you afraid of? Now if you fear for your safety with this guy, that's one thing but what if you go out again and he doesn't at all get sexual? Or what if he does? Are you afraid you won't say no? Are you afraid how bad you'll feel if it happens?

Have you heard the phrase, what we fear we create? Are you afraid you are bad at picking guys so you don't trust yourself?

I don't know if I'm helping or not. I just know that something is not adding up here. I refuse to believe that these things only happen to you and you're just not meant to find someone. I also refuse to believe that every guy out there only wants sex. Even if that were true, there are way easier ways to go about that than eHarmony. If that's all this guy really wants, why go through all of the extra work on eHarmony where statistically fewer easy women will be found. Why not go right to Tinder or something?

I hope these comments help flush this out. There is something here that needs flushing.