Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 6)

[lt0402]

Not sure how I missed your new thread JR! I apologize for the post in the old one.

On the apartment thing, I offered my W this when we were discussing what to do w/ the house from now until the end of the school year. W wanted me out of the house so her and my D could live here until then. I told her that didn't work and if she'd like to have one of us out of the house we could do weekly swaps of the house w/ D staying here all the time. My W hated that idea, but she effectively just wants D with me only when it's convenient for her, so differing situations.

Around the stages of grief, I'm right there w/ you too. It's a constant cycling through every stage, though as this thing moves along, I find the cycling to be less frequent. An interesting thing my IC and I started discussing last week is the concept of willpower. I'd told my IC that I tend to hit the painful stages of grief mainly when I was tired/worn out. He started talking about research showing that we all have a finite amount of willpower. Once you burn through that willpower it takes time/rest to replenish it. Without a supply of willpower it's extremely easy to be susceptible to the path of least resistance which in our case is the pain of our situations. I've found that knowing and recognizing when my willpower may be burned up has helped me find balance when in the past I'd of succumbed to all the awful thoughts that come from my situation.

FG, on the part around our kids, I'm not sure we can ever create a fully peaceful beach for them. Best we can do is be the lifeguard on that beach who is there to rescue them when the waves do get rough. Easier said than done, but I know from following ya'lls situations you are both extremely adept and skilled lifeguards for your kids. I've no doubt that both of you will see them through this and onto happy lives on the other side.