Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 6)

[JRuss]

Gump -- re those "waves", it is the final stage of grieving, acceptance, finally showing up, albeit for not that long, yet. I still cycle through all of the stages: denial/bargaining, sorrow, anger, and those still get most of my moments, but I'm starting to know and understand each one for what they are, and that somehow helps lessen the feelings of just being buffeted and blown about. And then there are those moments of acceptance, and you see for a moment the promise the future outside of the M could hold. As opposed to the promise that the future could hold with her, which is just more of the bargaining/denial I've been caught up in for so long.

We'll see what comes of those "negotiations". She isn't going to do anything during the holidays, so it will be early 2017 at the earliest. If we don't do any R stuff or fight or have hard conversations outside of counseling, I think she'd be willing to keep the status quo until D. I think she thinks she could compel this apartment thing, but as I've researched it and asked around here at my firm (have a partner who does nothing but divorce work), she can't make me live in an apartment. She'd have to divorce me to get that sort of authority over domicile, selling the house, etc., since we're both on the deed. I don't think she understands this yet. WHere I live, there's also a rule that you have to be separated for one year before a divorce can be granted, although they will look back to the date on which one spouse moved out of the MBR in determining timing, which she's obviously already done as of September.