Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 6)

[ForGump]

Don't think she can make me participate in [renting and taking turns at an apartment]...

It feels good when the waves of acceptance wash over me.

I'd be curious to hear how that decision (negotiation?) works out. She can't force you to share an apartment. I mean, if you say no, then what? The only card she has to play at that point is to divorce you, right? She can't force your hand, except to divorce you (wherein you'd be forced to negotiate the fate of the house & custody).

JR, I seem to recall seeing some book somewhere about doing a strategic separation in order to save a marriage. I wonder if your W would be amenable to doing that. Let her get a real taste for a life w/o you.

I like the way you put it, about the wave of acceptance washing over you. That's how I feel -- there are times I make a mental resolve to be OK, to accept my fate, and a feeling of peace washes over me, then it drain and dries off, then I feel stranded in a feeling of sorrow again.