where to begin or end?

[Rose888]

I spend lots of time either with my kids when they are with me, or with friends when they arent. I truly want to be there for my wife when she falls, to which based on almost all accounts her affair will die. I was generally a good husband, no drinking, drugs, smoking, neglect or hitting. Yes we had our issues mostly with communication of each others dissatifactions within the marriage. I hope she can see that one day if i dont keep muddying up the current situation

I can't tell. Are you implying that you don't need to change, that all you need to do is wait for your wife to realize how good she had it?

I haven't seen that approach work.

Your list of what made you a "good husband" is a pretty low bar. I tend to assume those are givens.

As for being there for your wife, detaching and GALing won't prevent you from doing that if your wife some day turns to you for support.

My husband never moved out and didn't (to my knowledge) have an affair. We are piecing--things are really good--and I still work on detaching and GAL as important parts of keeping things good and not slipping back into old habits.