I simply do not believe in forgiveness in all situations. Some things are unforgiveable. Others it simply is not my place to forgive. And in others I simply don't need to, I have detached.
Here are my thoughts
It isn't my place to forgive another, it really isn't. It is the higher powers right and honour to do so. I am not one up on another, I have no right to judge. I can evaluate the damage done to me on the action of another.
Forcing yourself to forgive another or doing so because me memes tell you it will be good for you, may make you guilty or ashamed.
Has the other asked for forgiveness? Repented? Remorsed? Atoned? Or are they simply saying that's my line in the sand, put up with it, or get over it? That's blaming you. What have they done to resolve it? Seriously, until they do then boundaries suggest that you keep them out of your life.
Do you forgive others if they keep on? Turn the other cheek means it's useful not to react physically. You can do so emotionally by detaching. Does than mean the best thing to do is to let go of resentment, the need for revenge, the need to hurt back. Yes I believe it does. Such things rebound.
I project love and rainbows to xWH, I truly do. I wish the Giggalo Hunting days are over, that he is happy with RIT. And he stays abroad and he leaves me alone.
If there are children involved it isn't so easy if there is damage going on. Behaviours involving children are not easy to forgive.
Forgiving doesn't mean no boundaries or letting harm happen again. It also doesn't mean no consequences for actions. I am truly sorry isn't a free pass.
It also isn't my job to punish either, or hold a grudge, or respond in kind. That is the higher power. Will xWH ever know the harm he has done? Does he care? I doubt it. If he atoned, apologised would that make a difference? Possibly, in those circumstances, the path to forgiveness is smoother. Would I ever forget? Would I ever trust? That is for the future not for now. Forgiveness isn't on the cards today.
--------------------------------
There is however areas that I do firmly believe in forgiveness.
For yourself to yourself. For the things which are part of the process, for loving of you. Your higher power can forgive you and you make amends. Hard as it is to do so, that is for you.
You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at that time. Forgive and love the man and father that is SH. He has atoned, he has thought, he has asked for forgiveness.
The Lords prayer asks us to forgive others if they harm us as we get forgiven. That includes ourselves and know you are forgiven. Accept it. Let the Higher Power forgive as it surely will.
Trust. Love, Forgiveness. They are separate and each can be independent of the others.
Detach, love and let go.
Breathe.
Big hugs
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
