Ohhhhhhh, Ginger, what happened? I've got a thought or two for you but want to wait to hear the latest. You may be getting sick of hearing me say this but we really are a lot alike and my senses are activated in hearing these ups and downs. I can explain more/better but first want to hear what brings you to think he's just like all the others within 72 hours of it all going so well. It's amazing how things can change in our minds so fast.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Hey Don. Unfortunately he is pretty much about the sex. I figured I may be able to skip that intention on Eharmony but apparently not. First date was good, he was mostly a gentlemen as far as that went and the next day was filled with tons of inappropriate texts about things that don't need to be discussed for a few dates. He has zero gentlemanly or flattering things to say and has shown quite a cocky side.
I'm just sick of it. It sums up most of my encounters. I must give off some sort of scent or something. I am not crazy hot, I do not dress slutty, I dress classy, I am honest about what I a looking for. He even said on the date that he couldn't tell if I liked him because I didn't flirt. I knew what might happen if I didn't hold back in that area, so I put up a wall.
This sounds completely ridiculous. I can't even begin to explain the things people have said about me or to me or the way they have treated me. Like a sex object. And no, I am not putting out an air of desperation, because he couldn't even tell if I was even interested.
When I look in the mirror I don't even know what I see anymore. I grew up being ugly. Now I'm kind of attractive n an unconventional way. I am not thin at all, but apparently my body screams "sex" as men I have dated or have ben interested in me has told me as much. WTF?! Like I said this sounds ridiculous.
I am worth getting to know as more than that. That I am actually confident in. I think the least I have to offer is sex or my body. The one person who saw me for more than that and loved me dumped my arse anyways.
I'm just done. I'm sick of this dumb game. I had briefly thought in a moment of insanity, maybe I'll just become who these guys think I am. But no, it's not who I am.
Alone is the way to go. There are the levels of intimacy that I crave so much and it has nothing to do with sex. I'll just have to continue to go without. I'll live. There are other areas of my life that are full and I'll just leave it at that.
On a different note, I had a blast from my past come out of the blue and apologize for treating me awfully. And he did. I feel as if it was more a step he needed to make in his life than about hurting me, but I forgave and accepted because if he really is taking a step at being the best man he could be, then those around him and himself will benefit.
Sorry G, my sense from the beginning was that this guy was always presuming an intimacy that was not yet there. He just struck me as going too fast. Please don't lump us all into one package...there are good guys out there...really! My last gf, SDA Lady, told me that the first two guys she met before me asked for sex on the first date and the third guy waited till the third...she did not comply. Hang in there!
Thank WiI. It was my gut feeling too. I don't lump you all into the same package. I have so many wonderful guy friends. The good ones just want nothing to do with me. Sounds like a pity party, but unfortunately real life experience shows me exactly that.
Hey, that's OK. You feel hurt right now...understandably! I know you sensed it too but you were willing to give him a chance. You had the courage to take that chance and make yourself vulnerable. Just remember that you can afford to be picky because men outnumber women in online dating by a big margin. So, sit back...take a break and then decide whether you want to continue. If you want to be alone do it because you feel that's what you want not because you want to hide from hurt. Btw, I didn't have sex with my wife while we dated and SDA Lady and I went 8 months before we did...so some guys can and will wait Maybe you need to date a Canadian ha ha.
Maybe you need to date a Canadian ha ha.