I'm back from holidays, which kids & I really enjoyed, though I was quite tired. I really wish doctors would finally find what is wrong with me so I can start a proper treatment. Eye got also worse with new antibiotics & different drops. New treatment doesn't seem to work...
Interactions with h were fine until tonight when I failed miserably! We had a long conversation on the phone & I just couldn't help it & told him, again, what I thought about the situation in which we are. He wasn't reasonable & there are things Im just not willing to accept anymore. I know I should be smarter than that & not to talk about these things. But it's difficult not to, now that we see each other so often. He repeated several times that he doesn't want to be with someone like me. At some point he said he thinks he should file for divorce as it's the only way to get out of the situation... But then he continues talking for several hours. Why does he do that? Just to make me understand that I'm the one who is responsible for the marriage being destroyed?
I don't think I want to continue being nice & understanding. The more I give the more he requests. I'm really tired & in my current health situation, I don't have much energy to deal with him. Maybe it's time to limit contact again. I kept replying to his messages etc. because I didn't want the situation to get worse again. But it seems that no matter what I do, if I disagree with just one thing, he only sees that. He has this very negative perception of me & no matter what I do he won't change it.
If divorce was the answer to the problem, I would consider it. But something tells me it would not change much.
