Don't Push!!! A Newbies MUST Read.

[ciluzen]

Huddy, have you ever had a toddler be so tired all they do is cry, but when you try to cuddle them and put them to bed they just arch their back and fight you? Say they're not tired? Have a teen who complains that no one ever listens to them or cares about them, but when you try to tell them you care and are listening they say, "leave me alone!"? It makes no sense.

Sometimes you need to create the weird reasons for how you feel and blame someone else because if its you that is the problem, its going to take a lot more work. Easier for the short term to run away and "make yourself happy" doing what you want. It will catch up eventually. Then you'll have to either do the introspection and hard work, or be forever miserable. Its kind of like eating chocolate cheesecake. I want it because I had a bad day; I deserve it. I eat a few bites and am satiated. But its so good. I keep eating it even though I'm making myself more uncomfortable, sick even. Then when I finish I blame it on the cheesecake. Too rich, too fatty or too sweet.The cheesecake didn't really make me sick. My sense of entitlement and stubbornness, the immediate satisfaction of the taste that I was enjoying all pushed aside the logic that I should stop before I regretted my actions. But I'm going to avoid cheesecake for quite awhile, because "IT" is no good for me and makes me sick. Eventually the balance in feelings will shift; I'll remember that I really like it. The memory of the full, sick feeling will fade. Logic will kick in and I will realize that my actions were what caused the problem. Maybe next time I see cheesecake, I will be able to have learned enough to only have a few bites. Then again, maybe not. But that's the process.