Well, she doesn't seem to fit the usual WW patern.......that I have seen. For one thing, a W becomes wayward b/c disrespect and resentment has continued to grow in her heart, eventually coming out in some form of rebellion. Therefore, a lot of work is required for her to get back to the woman you once knew.

At this point, I don't recall her reason/excuse to be unfaithful. I don't know of anyone who "plans" on having an affair, and most will say things like, "It just happened. I didn't mean for it, but it did". I could even understand if she was terribly sad/unhappy. But if she was, she must have been covering, or you are one blind dude! What I am trying to say is that these puzzle pieces don't seem to naturally fit together. I get the sense you may be forcing them a little.

I know you have talked, read, etc., but what has truly been accomplished to get you where you are now? Has any layers of disrespect and resentment been resolved? I don't know what additional issues she may have had about you/MR, but I have serious doubts she could switch in ten days, into this happy W you say you are seeing. It just doesn't happen (genuinely) that way with a wayward.

So..........are you seeing what you want to see? Is there something you are holding back?

Who would you say wore the pants in your MR? Who was more the caretaker of the MR? Were you more dominate, or your W? Would you fregrently catch your W in lies? Was it important to her that other people saw you as the perfect couple? Who was the sensitive spouse? When she talked, did you really "hear" what she was saying? When you had disagreements, what were usually the main topics?

Can you tell us anything about her childhood, as far as something that could have an impact on her later? Any life altering experiences, like being assaulted, raped, losing a close loved one in death, being abandoned, or anything you remember anyone saying about her younger years?

I don't mean to throw you with these questions. I'm just trying to figure something out.
Besides saying disrespectful things "under your breath", were there other things that you know contributed to the breakdown in the MR?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!