I am in the middle of reading DR and stopped contacting him weeks ago. I'll send a very short email to him next month saying I hope he's ok. I feel sorry for us all going through this, his parents are devastated too but most of all I feel desperately sorry for him.
Hello Westo,
I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.
Keep reading DR. Please reconsider sending him the email you mentioned. It would be seen as continuing to pursue him, which you aren't if you are truly detaching.
It is going to sound like an echo around here. It is focus all of your time, effort and energy on being the best Westo.
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Only just seeing your reply as I've come back to update. I left it until yesterday to send the email.
I have not contacted him since the middle of August. I have been concerned as it was announced on the news over two weeks ago that his company were laying off 900 and I fully expect him to be one of them. This would impact on the mortgage so I've been really worried.
I just put on the subject line 'hope you're ok' just that, no content at all. I thought it would open the door a little if he needed to tell me if he was being made redundant.
He has just replied 'Hi W, yes I think so, how are you'. I'm so relieved that was all he said
Shall I answer (in a few days) that I'm ok or just leave it at that?
- have you seen an attorney? If your H revealed to you that there were debts that he hid from you, you need to find out how best to protect yourself from his financial irresponsibility. This is completely separate from whether your marriage will survive or not; right now you just need to protect yourself.
- second, about your H "letting" you retire after your hysterectomy. Obviously that wasn't a good financial move. You didn't know and he couldn't tell you about the debts. Now you need to go out and get a job. You can't count on him, and even if you get back together, it sounds like you're going to need a second income in order to get out of debt. Go back to work as soon as you can. You can't count on him, and there's no telling when or if he'll come out of this crisis. Make plans for your future,
Hi kml, There is really nothing I can do about the debt. We remortgaged the house so I'm responsible for half of it. I live in a small village and I'm 55 so finding a job will be practically impossible.
I suggested selling the house and paying the mortgage off that way, but he won't discuss it. He says he will dip into his pension to pay it off!
I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it. God knows what's ahead of me, at least I have my kids.
You need to address the finances now; for all you know he could be continuing to run up debts in your name right now. You need to see an attorney to figure out how best to protect yourself, and to keep H from spending your share of his pension. This doesn't mean that you have to file for divorce, just get information about what you can do to protect yourself.
You're not unemployable at 55, so get out of that mindset. Sticking your head in the sand is not going to fix your financial problems. I know it's scary but the sooner you address it the better off you'll be.
You can call the credit card companies and make sure your name is off the cards
This saved me and to this day they still call for my XH and my name is cores and free from any debt L can also give great free advice in a free consultation I chose a really good L and he helped me save my house and business- good luck
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
