Have I been naive all those years? Are we in a society where happiness comes from someone else? I'm asking this because one of my friends just told me she left her H for someone else, and that person left his wife for her. Is it what society is about today? Personal gratification? I'm just realising that there are more and more people around me who leave their H/W for someone else. I'm wondering what legacy we are leaving to our children? Maybe this is what it is now: in our lifetime maybe we will not be with one partner but several.

I'm realising that being part of a couple is hard work and it requires to work on it, but it just seems so easy nowadays to walk away.

Anyway as for me, I had a brilliant weekend. I can honestly say that I have reached the point of acceptance that my M is over and won't be saved (only took me 20 months, so better later than never!). I'm doing a lot of soul/ spiritual reading. I seem to be attracted to that kind of reading. It helps me to put things into perspective. Even if it's hard at times, I'm finding more positive things to think about, and I have got some happy feelings within myself. Now I know I can do things on my own without H. To be perfectly honest, I don't think we can be as a couple again. Still not filing as at the moment there is no need for it. I no longer never have any expectation from H. I'm starting to feel sorry for OW as he is having his cake with her. Maybe this what she wants a part-time boyfriend?

I still love H but everyone says time is a healer (not seeing him for nearly two months now also helps). I don't think I have DB properly to save my M, but after few errors and trials I'm doing what is right for me.

I don't know what the future holds for me but the last 20 months have been the hardest, yet I have done things, met new friends, discover new things that I'd have never been able if I had stayed with H. This only regret I might have would be what if I hadn't kick him out, but then again looking back when we were separated he went back to her and while in house separation H didn't make much effort to work on M. So really I made the right decision for me (even if until now it didn't feel like it).