Sotto's tootling along

[Coly23]

Apologies Job if I misunderstood your explanation of 'airbrushing' being metaphorical and also wow, Sotto your explanation being literal!!

Happy birthday week Sotto!!! I love that your birthday celebrations span over several days! I like to do that to and as my birthday is in the summer we have lots of garden parties!

Sounds like your D workshops are going well and as you say you can now give something back by being one of the hosts and help others to see that they can get through this and survive.

I love the tortoise and hare analogy. I think I might have used it on someone else sitch on here but in a different context. I think it is very true how fast the MLCer/WS works to get that new life they want and in contrast how it takes us LBS much longer to come to terms with what has happened.

I work in a field where we help managers with organisational changes they are wanting to implement and insist that making significant changes should not be taken lightly so we look at the reasons why they want the changes and how we can avoid any losses first before settling on what needs to happen. We also warn managers that it may be detrimental to the desired outcome if done too quickly and I think this is the case with the MLCer/WS sometimes going out all guns blazing without thinking of the alternatives and the impact of those around them.

I think it amazes me especially when an MLCer/WS is in an EA or PA for a short time how they want to throw away their old life of several years to be with the OP. Most people in new relationships wouldn't think of throwing away their single life until they are certain this is the person they want to spend the rest of their life with and I guess that's when the cracks start to show.

I think that is also evident in how sometimes the MLCer/WS can't understand why the LBS isn't on their timeline when they feel the LBS hasn't moved on as yet. I think the fact that it does take us LBS longer to move forward/on definitely helps with how we grow by going through stages of change rather than all at once.

So to cut a long story short I agree with your analogy of slowly, slowly wins the race although I don't believe there are any winners just the LBS who has hopefully grown and made changes and the MLCer/WS who is often stuck and still doing the same things in a new relationship.

Anyway, I'm getting off my soapbox! Have a lovely birthday week!!