Thank you Bright, I know he came back quickly, it did not feel like it in real life, but for a MLCer it was quick.

My thoughts have been whirring around my head, as they do and journalling is a good way to move them out giving room for the next set of thoughts. So here is a bit of journalling.

At the time of BD2 I was shocked by the way that only 6 weeks earlier h was saying "you are my one, I love you and want to be with you, this is forever, I can't and don't want to imagine my life without you in it" and then 6 weeks later none of that applies anymore and he has checked out in his head and no longer feels any of those things .....6 weeks ...seriously ! With thought turning to this I remembered that only a few months ago his therapist and DR told him they felt he is suffering from depression, h knew better and decided that this is not the case and he feels fine now after a bit of exercise and making some change in life decisions.

I feel he had a lift in the depression, enough for him to make the realization that the feelings and thoughts he was having about me were indeed real and so he pursued me. He then made a life changing decision, he left his job, his home, his friends and life to be with me, he felt unhappy leaving all that behind and struggled with it, which in my mind sent his back into depression and that in turn blanketed all and any feelings he had for me. In his head he wants to go back to what made him happy, where made him happy and who made him happy - back to where he just came from.

Until he accepts that he has depression and deals with it he won't ever reconcile his thoughts enough to live a settled life, he will constantly have periods of being unhappy.

h contacted the caravan buyer last night, she is waiting for an inheritance to be paid out and feels it will be this week so she will hopefully pick up the van this coming weekend. He has been making arrangements for leaivng, working out where he can stay with the dogs while he job hunts etc, he may have even already sorted that out, I don't know, we don't talk about it, we don't talk about anything serious, just the weather and what we are having for dinner lol.

Originally Posted By: BrightFuture
I also agree with job, that your case still has a pretty good chance to turn around again. But, definitely, don’t let your H back so easy.


I am not so sure about this, h has burnt me twice and he knows it, he may feel he can't approach me again if his feelings do change, he may just live with the fact that he messed up and lost me. He leaves me with the knowledge that he does not have sexual desire for me anymore and has been told it wont return, so I can't see him feeling otherwise when he won't be seeing me again to find out that its not true. I love that you and job feel this is not over for us, and a big part of me still would like that to be true, but I don't see how anymore. The first time I can get how he sees that I am worth so much to his life and contacts me to find out if I feel the same, but a second time ???? hmmmm.