- have you seen an attorney? If your H revealed to you that there were debts that he hid from you, you need to find out how best to protect yourself from his financial irresponsibility. This is completely separate from whether your marriage will survive or not; right now you just need to protect yourself.
- second, about your H "letting" you retire after your hysterectomy. Obviously that wasn't a good financial move. You didn't know and he couldn't tell you about the debts. Now you need to go out and get a job. You can't count on him, and even if you get back together, it sounds like you're going to need a second income in order to get out of debt. Go back to work as soon as you can. You can't count on him, and there's no telling when or if he'll come out of this crisis. Make plans for your future,
