Either way would definitely mean the end. I know him well enough to know he would just give up but I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. [/b]I don't even know if I should be hopeful anymore.
[b]
I think you answered this. You would know for sure when you are ready to throw in the towel. You have doubt. Doesn't appear you are ready.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Today is a new day and I am doing good at NC. He sent me a text that he was taking DD out to do fun stuff. Didn't require a response so I didn't answer. I want to though. I want to say something about the fact that he only does the fun stuff and no actual parenting but what would be the point?
I feel like with NC he is just going to forget me.
That's the fear we all have or have had....it's weird how it goes against everything we think.
Again....
Do you want to do what feels right or do what works?
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
With that being said...based on your fear, it appears you are back on the roller coaster.
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
I don't want to do any of it but I feel more centred when I am not talking to him so going dark is what it will be. The longest I have done that is two days so my goal is to go a week.
Decided to a house makeover. I've got lots of empty bedrooms now that the older two have moved out on their own. I'm going to switch bedrooms and do a makeover on all the bedrooms. It will give me something to focus on.
I don't want to do any of it but I feel more centred when I am not talking to him so going dark is what it will be. The longest I have done that is two days so my goal is to go a week.
Decided to a house makeover. I've got lots of empty bedrooms now that the older two have moved out on their own. I'm going to switch bedrooms and do a makeover on all the bedrooms. It will give me something to focus on.
Perfect! Shorter term goals. Something to keep you occupied and moving. Well done
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
Made it through the day. The only contact I had with WS was saying "thank you" when he texted me to tell me he had brought DD home. I don't feel happy or sad. I just feel oddly detached. Reding DR, drinking Starbucks, and listening to music. Another exciting weekend at my house.
Relationship goals aren't the focus right now. The focus is detaching to the point where you will really know and believe that you are going to be good regardless. So keep focusing on you. Enjoy he Starbucks. The time to read. The time to listen to music. And enjoy being YOU. Not A W
34, xw33 M-10, T-18 2D (8 and 5) Ilybinilwy-1/16 EA/PA- 7/15-present (with my former best friend) Trial apartment-2/16 (also when she considers us separated) W moved out-8/16 W Filed 11/21/16 D final 1/30/17
You're right, j20. Keep working on me. I was trying to figure out how I would know if I am making progress with NC but, I guess, making progress is a about me and not him.
