I have been living my life off of the MLC radar for quite a while now. Jack' s news brought me back here. Re-reading posts, comments, pieces of wisdom. Of course, a lot of fog has been lift off. I wanted to see if, after all these years, I could have done anything differently now that I have all this knowledge.
My answer is no. Do I believe I have pushed him away? My answer is yes. Why? My boundaries.
It was simple: OW, no me. Spewing, truth dart Abuse, Cops Kids feel upset, i' m there
I won' t lie. I had mixed feelings about the board. Even though I got so much information, a lot of this info did not fit with me. I often wondered if I did not have all this info, would it have been easier to get through? Ex- husband would have been seen as a monster and I would I have ended it sooner? The answer is also no. Monster would have killed me. He came very close. My children and THIS BOARD saved me.
Do I believe marriages can be restored? Obviously, yes! BUT, marriage is a COMMITMENT made by TWO people. Unless your MLCer is making attempted to re-connect, you have no option other than moving on.
IMO, People who chose to stand put themselves in a lot of un-necessary pain. Get support, heal and let it go. Let the future unfold.
Concentrate on yourself, your children, your family. If it is meant to be, it will happen. You can deal with it when it comes. Do not live years waiting to see if this time might be it. Let it be.
